WWF Comes to Section 8

It was last week when I was told of a great tale involving a threesome with a handicapped individual, my brother-in-law, and their best friend Busch Lite.

Apparently my brother-in-law went out to visit his friend “One-Eared Willy” in the Section 8 projects where many disabled folks lived.

As they sat on the steps of One-Eared-Willy’s house with beer, a gentleman in a motorized wheelchair rolled over to my brother-in- law, and yelled obscenities while waving around the arm of the wheelchair. “I’m gonna kick your ass motherfucker!” My  brother-in-law was intoxicated and carefree, he wanted no part in that. After all, the world wasn’t ready for the new moves of the Gold-Toothed Gargantuan.

“NO hell you ain’t. Get on out of here!” said my also drunk brother-in-law.
“I’m gonna kick your ass!” said the man on his wheelchair, still waving around his wheelchair handle, ready to fuck something up.

Out came the can of Grizzly dip straight into his cheek, as my brother-in-law reared back on an imaginary wrestling ring, and ran at the mouthy drunk gentleman, clothes lining him completely OUT of his wheelchair, onto the ground. He laid there, in silence, wondering what the hell happened to him.

My brother-in-law  then turned […]

Hoarding & Extreme Couponing: And Just How The Hell Are They Different?

I’ll admit to you, loyal and anxious reader (all 1 of you) that I’m low on material at the moment to blog about. My family has been relatively functional and I have minimal to bitch about on a personal level.

I do want to spit some of my hot social commentary fire on the subject that came up between myself and a friend recently: Extreme Couponing is the organized non-feces involved version of hoarding.

If there’s 2 things my people are bringing to the public eye, its hoarding and coupons. Don’t act like you haven’t watched in horror as a fat bitch buys 32 bottles of mustard for 12 cents, or gagged into your can of Schlitz beer after seeing someone discover their missing 6 cat corpses under the toy train and doll part-ridden sofa. We all have, and we all swallowed our vomit down with you.

I want you to think for a second about how similar both types are.

First of all, hoarders can’t turn away a deal. And neither can coupon-ers! They will buy ANY FUCKING THING if its free or bottom dollar. For instance, why would a grown ass man need 26 boxes of tampons when he’s alone and […]

5 Reasons You Can Be Pumped About Being a Redneck Part II

In my recent efforts to not be such a shitty blogger, I’m trying to update more often but failing with sadness. A while back, we talked about the other 5 reasons you could get pumped about being a redneck, and I cockteased you a bit and told you “big boy, there’s even more to come” as I waved you towards my IROC. Well, here it is, and I stand by my promises. Let’s light this candle!

5. Rednecks are handy bastards: they can fix anything. Depending on their skill set, it could be pretty ghetto, but they will find a way to fix it. They rarely pay mechanics. They always have free firewood, two or three freezers full of acquired food, and if they can’t fix it, they know a guy that will for a twelve pack. If the zombie apocalypse happens, head for the nearest redneck home because they will be prepared and able to provide for your yankee ass.

4. Low Expectations: I never went to college. Back home, this is not a big deal but in other places I have been, it makes people so surprised. When I was growing up, college wasn’t discussed with me. In fact, […]


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Who the Hell is Sheena?
Sheena is the name my mom gave me when she heard Sheena Easton's "Morning Train" in 1981. My dad could never say it or remember it, so my sister still calls me "Sheiler" because that's what he called me. I write, I sing, I paint, and more importantly, I'm good at making people laugh. This blog was started in hopes to find the twisted readers who would love what I do, and share with others.
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